Who Am I ?

I am a little emotionally affected today... It had been lasting for at least Three Months straight I have this complex mindset of mine =[ It was extremely tough for me =[ Every time I felt like giving up =[ Seriously !! No Kidding !! God who loves me, does not wish to see me condemn, he whispered in me to read about Ministry of Death and Deepest root is Condemnation by Joseph Prince's Destined to Reign =]

It was rather true that I was under that circumstances to perform such thoughts in me =[ I had plenty to say... I wanted to avoid anyone from noticing it =[ I kept cool ! Life still seemed complicated but that's the way it is =[ It's inevitable ! I had to face it =[ This year has been my first Painstaking start =[ It was unbearable =[ The extreme condemnation inside me ! I cried day and night when I was a lone =[ Humming songs under my breath... All the while was depressed and wished I could reverse the time =[ I could not and it is impossible =[

YAYA ! You guys can keep giving comments and recommendations about being positive !! You guys only know how to say it but not doing it ! You try being under this pressure.... I bet you will not believe it and just suicide if you can !

On April 28th, a miracle finally arrived =[ Am I pleased ? Of course !! I was relieved ! I felt the devil that possessed in me, left automatically once I started realising that God was behind all this =] Praise the Lord ! Amen =]

Without knowing that God tries to remove me from the evil temptation ! I insisted on siding the devil but not God =[ Wretch person of me =[ Since Jesus came, his blood cleansed me whole and healed =] Thank God for his mercy =] I am living a better life right now =] Although examinations are around, I know God has finished the work and I am just doing his finished work =]

I love being a Believer =] IT leads to better living and lesser resentments =] That's why I am in this production ''BELIEVE'' =] Now I know what was holding me back =]

Today I am able to express myself to you is because of my personal rejoicing with God =] Hahas =]

It might seem to you that all doubts had been cleared... There is only a little bitterness in school and I seriously hate it !! A slight twist and that's the end ! Great ! Losing friends and love ones is the most heart breaking experience ! I had them once but it was put to an end =]

There's goes the saying Who Am I to judge ? I just an ordinary person who believe righteously in Jesus's Finished work on the cross and I am healed wholeness =] I have zero authority in any position ... In this production, I am generally a youngest in the entire cast and crew. We all start small =] Right believing leads to right living and living righteously ! =]

Although setbacks might seem troublesome and afflicting, knowing that giving up is the lousiest excuse, why not just bear the grudges and live like normal ? I should have ask that to myself 4 months ago...

Musical is drawing near =] I am nervous XD Hahas First biggest project, First experience, First major setbacks and First mendings of my personal problems !!

I learned the most this year ! Regardless of whatever had happened, you know most important you must not criticise yourself(myself) . Example ; not good Looking, a little fat, pudgy or whatever imperfection, Never ever fall short of yourself =]

I will close here,

Gerwin

I end off with a..... SMILE =]